It’s Not Me, It’s Him, Right?

Days #3 and #4 –

(Sorry, too tired last night to post)

The third day was the day to get Missouri done and over with see everything Missouri offers.  However, my highlight of the day barely has to do with anything really Missouri-ish.  When I lived in Colorado, I loved a semi-national pizza chain called Godfather’s Pizza, especially the Taco Pizza.  I would have one practically every week.  Unfortunately, they’re regional now, and I hadn’t had the sweet ambrosia of mediocre ingredients put together by surly teens in 7 years.

While stopping to get fuel in the middle of nowhere, I noticed they had an express location in the gas station.   Which means, if they have it in the gas station, it has to have real locations nearby.  Susan was kind and did a search for me, and we found locations in Ozark.  Now, I’ve been burned by this before, found them on the internet only to find the location gone.

Unfortunately, that happened yet again.  Get to the location, and it’s empty.  However, we try the second location, and success!  They still exist!  They still make Taco pizza!  Godfather’s is one of those buffet-type locations, where it’s cheaper to just get what you want via the buffet then actually ordering the specific pie.  I get two slices, and they’re just as I remember them.  I commented to Susan that “if this was just thin crust, it would be perfect!”  I go to get one more slice, and it is thin crust.  Life is good.  Perfection has been achieved.

Perfection lasted two hours.  We go off the Mother Road to go to Branson.  Oh…dear…God!  There is nothing like going to a town where it is encouraged to not walk around, you must drive to go anywhere!  Look at the billboards of acts you never heard of or thought they were dead!  In driving around, we decide we will try two things: an IMAX show (it’s hot outside) and a place called The Toy Museum.  The IMAX had nothing we wanted to see, and the Toy Museum was closed on Sundays.  Absolute total waste of time (sorry Aaron).  At least it’s off the list.  And why is there a Starbucks in the Marie Osmond theater?  The headliner is bound by religious beliefs not to enjoy their signature product.

On the way back to 66, we decide to go the long way so Susan can add Arkansas to her state list.  I’ve driven through the Rockies many times, the California mountains as well, but these were probably the worst.  Not because they were steep or dangerous, it’s because there were no turnout lanes.  And if you get behind a slow car, you’re stuck.  Eventually, this one car had created a trail of 18 cars, of which I was #3.  Finding a rare straightaway, I did something you should not try at home kids.  I passed two cars, and going 85 in a 40 zone to do it.

But I had…just…run…out…of…patience.  One good note, we highly recommend the Onyx Cave near Eureka Springs, Arkansas.  First, you’re welcomed by an older gent who clearly needs to get out of the gift shop more.  Then, you’re given headphones which tell you what you’re seeing as you progress through tour.  And most importantly, it was 57° in the cave.  And to wrap up the night, we stayed at the most tricked out La Quinta Inn in the country, where we were very appreciative the Clinton (MI) 12-year old softball team was nice and quiet.

The fourth day started with a quick jaunt through Kansas, a whopping 13 miles before coming into Oklahoma.  Most of the Eastern portion in the state is a 4 lane limited access freeway, so there isn’t quite the charm nor the attractions, but you do start to get the Southern hospitality at the ones you visit, which translates to “we will not let you leave this attraction until we talk for 15 minutes.”  Tulsa was unfortunately still Tulsa.  Just outside Oklahoma City in Arcadia features a store called Pops, which boasts over 200 pops available for purchase.  Ignoring the temptation to say I bought Vernors in Oklahoma, we did select some wacky ones including Leninade.  I know if I had several of my prior travel comrades with me, we would still be there.

Oklahoma City was a more somber trip as our stop was the Murrah memorial.  Even though it is open air, the din of the city noise doesn’t seem to be heard when in the memorial.  Leaving OKC, I did something that will stun everyone.  Put the kids to bed, alert the media and check for flying pigs: Susan drove a leg.

Tomorrows trip will finish up Oklahoma, running through Texas and the Cadillac Ranch, and trickling into the Mountain Time Zone.