The 2007 Road Trip -- We Are Hurling Abuse at the Opposition...Because They Suck <body> <center><p class=V16>We Are Hurling Abuse at the Opposition...<br> Because They Suck -- The 2007 Road Trip</p></center> <p class=V10>Welcome, loyal readers and other people avoiding work. Here is the recap of my 2007 trip through the Northeast part of the United States.</p> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="RT2007_Day01Map.jpg" align=left><font class=V14>Day 1 (Friday, 22 June)</font><br><br> Day One was pretty much just to get aligned for the remainder of the trip and pick up personnel. Craig was picked up in the late afternoon and after a stop at Craig's favorite Cleveland eatery, we stopped for the night at Dwight's in suburban Pittsburgh. This included the "world premiere" of my latest <a href="yakkety1.wmv">video work</a>, based on a hypothesis stated by Craig several weeks earlier at a minor league baseball game. I will warn you in advance, the video may offend if you have a certain reverence for a certain time in American history. You have been warned. </td></tr></table> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="RT2007_Day02Map.jpg" align=right><font class=V14>Day 2 (Saturday, 23 June)</font><br><br> Two goals today, one was to visit Scranton, PA, home of <i>The Office</i> and to see an MLS game. A unexpected goal was acheived when I got to visit the marriage place of my great-grandparents, <a href="http://www.mikeburger.com/cgi/show_person.cgi?i=9112">Wilkinsburg, PA</a>. I meant to do this. I was not lost. There was no way I was lost. <a href="DSC02227.JPG" target="_blank">I had organized this trip so being lost was not an option</a>. There's over 80 pages of directions in there. Besides, we really wanted to see the <a href="DSC00001.JPG" target="_blank">the pie made up of other company's signs</a>.<br><br> We stopped for lunch in Scranton and ate at <a href="DSC02233.JPG" target="_blank">Cooper's Seafood</a>, which is mentioned several times on the show. Across the street is the church you see in the opening credits. It was a strange mix of trying to be classy and kitsch at the same time, the interior made up of several dining rooms decorated with 70s and 80s TV-themed board games. Dwight and Craig also claim that the bisque was coma inducing, since they were asleep within 10 minutes of leaving Scranton. I was also heavily fighting sleep, but I didn't have any bisque. The only thing we had in common was bread. So apparently at Coopers, the bread is coma inducing.<br><br> We make it to the New England Revolution-Toronto FC game just in time and we experienced something very strange at a professional sporting event -- free parking. They probably do that due to the fact that Revs have decided not to build a smaller soccer-specific stadium used by everyone else in the MLS, so they play to many empty seats at the 68,756-seat stadium. They only sell seats to the lower bowl on one half plus the end zones in attempt to keep the crowd together, but when you sell only one out of every seven seats, it looks bad. <a href="http://web.mlsnet.com/news/mls_news.jsp?ymd=20070623&content_id=100870&vkey=news_mls&fext=.jsp" target="_blank">The Revs won 3-0</a>, despite the presence of Marvell Wynne Jr. on Toronto FC. The three goals in this game was more goals than I had seen in my previous 2 MLS games (2). </td></tr></table> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="RT2007_Day03Map.jpg" align=left><font class=V14>Day 3 (Sunday, 24 June)</font><br><br> The day started out to a trip into Boston, my lifetime arch-enemy, to visit the Mapparium. Started as a big giant glass globe in the 30s, it now houses a museum on the life of noted Christian Scientist Mary Baker Eddy and also includes a window into the newsroom of the <a href="DSC02262.JPG" target="_blank"><i>Chrisitian Science Monitor</i></a>. Craig also technically fulfilled my dare of defying <a href="DSC02257.JPG" target="_blank">this sign saying the books were for display only</a> by <a href="DSC02258.JPG" target="_blank">by building a small fort</a>. While technically a fort since it has four walls, he did have more than 40 other books to work with.<br><br> The day moved onto Cape Cod, where we went to see a game in the Cape Cod League. This is the premier league for players still in college, they use wood bats, and the players aren't paid since they are still in college. The pay is via 'suggested donation' and the fields are local high schools. <a href="http://www.capecodbaseball.org/Stats/BoxScoreDetail.asp?FileName=HYA6240.HTM" target="_blank">The home team won 8-6</a>, helped out by some of the worst third base coaching this side of Wendell Kim. The highlight of the game proved to be some Irish college students who were working in Hyannis for the summer. Normally, when a bunch of semi-drunk college kids come to a baseball game it means no fun. However, their lack of knowledge of the game was great ("so they caught the ball, they get a point now, right?") and their inventive cheer ("We are hurling abuse at the opposition...because they suck") made their witty reparteé worthwhile, although they did say the latter when a Michigan pitcher was pitching. On the way out, we noticed a problem <a href="DSC02283.JPG" target="_blank">with the concept of time in Hyannis</a>.<br><br> A strange goal for the trip was trying to eat in each of New England states where feasible. Connecticut ended up not being feasible, and this was going to be our only shot for Rhode Island. Heading down I-295, we saw a sign for "Chicken Power", featuring a outline of a black chicken head. How could you not eat there? Unfortunately, <a href="DSC02285.JPG" target="_blank">it was closed</a>. However, the Dollar Days next door <a href="DSC02287.JPG" target="_blank">had troubles of their own</a>. </td></tr></table> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="RT2007_Day04Map.jpg" align=right><font class=V14>Day 4 (Monday, 25 June)</font><br><br> Leaving Foxboro, we first go to the JFK Library and Museum in Boston, which is slowly becoming a collection of visiting Presidential libraries, this being #4 behind Ford, Nixon and Reagan. Nothing spectacular here other than the voice of Kennedy is everywhere and this one features the first lady a little more than others. Bobby also got a wing while Teddy got a room.<br><br> We then went up to Maine and visited the Delorme Map Store in Weymouth, followed by a visit to a lobster shack. On the way out we went into downtown Portland and saw a building that <a href="DSC02310.JPG" target="_blank">apparently also has a job on A.M. radio</a>. We then went to Manchester to see the Fisher Cats play the Portland Sea Dogs, a minor league stadium devoid of parking. This began a pattern of having split crowds, as Portland is the AA team of the Boston Red Sox. <a href="http://www.nhfishercats.com/display_box.php?gid=2007-06-25&team1=prt&team2=nhm&xml=aHR0cDovL2dkMi5tbGIuY29tL2NvbXBvbmVudHMvZ2FtZS9hYXgveWVhcl8yMDA3L21vbnRoXzA2L2RheV8yNS9naWRfMjAwN18wNl8yNV9wcnRhYXhfbmhtYWF4XzEvYm94c2NvcmUueG1s" target="_blank">The 'home' team lost 8-6</a>, although we left after 7 because the stadium, near the Merrimack River, is pretty bug infested. Plus they played <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cha_cha_slide" target="_blank">Cha Cha Slide</a> way too often.<br><br> Our hotel had originally offered us "the pet room", which I thought would be great. After a long day of driving, there would be a dog waiting in the room, happy to see you and ready to play with out. Apparently, this isn't what "the pet room" means. Instead, it's a BYOP situation. I really think the people at Comfort Inn are missing out on a great moneymaker. The room also featured <a href="DSC02321.JPG" target="_blank">this handy dandy card</a>, but unfortunately we did not have a "You've Lost Your TV Is Not Working" card. On the way out, we passed <a href="DSC02323.JPG" target="_blank">Segway of Northern New England</a>. </td></tr></table> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="RT2007_Day05Map.jpg" align=left><font class=V14>Day 5 (Tuesday, 26 June)</font><br><br> This day allowed some rural driving, which included a stop into a random Vermont-style gift shop. Little did we know that we stopped into a moment in New England civil rights history, the location <a href="DSC02330.JPG" target="_blank">where bears were allowed to eat at Vermont lunch counters</a>. We then crossed the Champlain/Hudson for the second of many times as we got to visit <a href="DSC02341.JPG" target="_blank">Fort Ticonderoga</a>, otherwise known as Powderhorn U.S.A. First, I was disappointed it was not made of pencils. However, I'm sure the place is great if it's not 92 degrees outside (and inside), but one can only look at so many powderhorns and rifles.<br><br> It was then up to the campus of The University of Vermont, which shares its baseball stadium with the Vermont Lake Monsters (Washington's Single-A team), alebit they prefer the stadium to be <a href="genericreceipt.jpg" target="_blank">as generic as possible</a>. They were playing Oneonta, the farm team of the Tigers, and it was Latino Night, specifically Dominican Night. Things seemed well with a visiting Dominican team on hand plus the singing of the-longer-than-the-Star-Spangled-Banner <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quisqueyanos_valientes" target="_blank">Dominican National Anthem</a>, but reverence went away and comedy ensued. If you've ever seen the movie <a href="http://www.allmovie.com/cg/avg.dll?p=avg&sql=1:3860" target="_blank">Bananas</a>, you may remember a scene where a translator just repeats what Woody Allen says in an outrageous Spanish accent. The "announcer" hired by the Lake Monsters simply said the player's name and position with a Spanish accent, not even attempting the numbers, with the exception of "primera base" (which is accurate). The <a href="http://web.minorleaguebaseball.com/milb/stats/stats.jsp?sid=milb&t=g_box&gid=2007_06_26_oneasx_verasx_1" target="_blank">game was won by Oneonta 4-2</a>, which featured a Joel Zumaya-type five-strikeout-in-two-innings set-up guy, followed by a soft tossing closer wearing #59. They played <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cha_cha_slide" target="_blank">Cha Cha Slide</a> way too often. Following the game, we took the ferry to Plattsburgh.<br><br> </td></tr></table> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="RT2007_Day06Map.jpg" align=right><font class=V14>Day 6 (Wednesday, 27 June)</font><br><br> The day started out with a trip to Lake Placid, home of the 1980 Winter Olympics. They have built a small museum into the nooks and crannies of the 1932 and 1980 arenas that was just about the right size (about a one hour trip) and the right price (four dollars). As expected, the attractions are very tilted towards the Miracle on Ice, but there were also exhibits of the 1932 Olympics (also held at Lake Placid), and an almost complete set of torch and mascot replicas. You also can find out interesting facts, such as the athletes' village was turned into <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Correctional_Institution%2C_Ray_Brook">a federal prison</a>. We also got to see a hockey practice, as the U.S.A. future female stars were holding a week long camp, which was a nice respite from the 88-degree heat.<br><br> After a long sojourn down the state line, we got to Hyde Park, home of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The opening film was a little heavy on hyperbole, you leave thinking that FDR himself planted three billion trees during the 1930s. This library/museum was much more document heavy, and included a display from the first ever White House <a href="DSC02465.JPG" target="_blank">Map Room</a>, which had previously unknown areas ("Bible Lands") and a stolen map of Canada. It's also nice to see that our nation's cartography was sub-contracted to National Geographic.<br><br> On the way down for that day's ball game in the Hudson Valley, we stopped in Poughkeepsie to get rain supplies, since the skies seemed threatening. After seeing several police vehicles blocking intersections and several fire trucks at a Toys 'Я' Us, we go into a grocery store that has a completely empty meat department and a good portion of its bottled water purchased. We then learn at this point that there had been a massive power outage in New York City and the lower Hudson Valley. While in the store, they lost power again for a second only to hear thirty cash registers boot simutaneously.<br><br> We fled Poughkeepsie in terror to go to Dutchess Stadium, home of the Hudson Valley Renegades (Toronto's Single-A team), who were facing the Staten Island Yankees. Yet another minor-league game in major-league-territory, ended up being a <a href="http://www.hvrenegades.com/gades/boxscores/index.html?autoload=boxscore&gid=2007_06_27_staasx_hvrasx_1&sportcode=asx" target="_blank">rain-shortened 2-1 victory</a> for the home team. They played <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cha_cha_slide" target="_blank">Cha Cha Slide</a> only once, but there were four innings for them to go overboard. At this point we met up with James, who we would be staying with the next three nights. </td></tr></table> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="njrr.jpg" align=left><img src="subway.jpg" align=left><font class=V14>Day 7 (Thursday, 28 June)</font><br><br> I believe I have figured out why New Yorkers are surly. The morning started in Edison, NJ, followed by a trip to a seven-story parking garage, which led to an elevator, only to go back up to a staricase catch a train. A long, depressing train through some less than beautiful landscapes. After a tunnel, you end up at Penn Station, which then involves a walk in a underground concrete fortress to catch a subway to take a 33-block trip uptown. And that's 75 minutes of your day. And you do that every day. Well, at least <a href="DSC02478.JPG" target="_blank">you have access to really large sandwiches</a>.<br><br> Dwight and James hung around Penn Station to try to get NBA draft tickets and failed, since there were only about 2,000 available for the over 5,000 who lined up. Craig and I headed to ABC to try out for <i>Who Wants to Be a Millionaire</i>. Our failure won't be known for three weeks. While we were waiting, we walked over to Central Park and saw <a href="http://www.americanlemans.com/home/ALMSHome.aspx" target="_blank">a sponsor party for the American LeMans series</a> at Tavern on the Green. We then re-hooked up with Dwight and Craig, had our large sandwiches, and retired to the Paley Museum (formerly The Museum of Television and Radio) to watch some classic TV in air conditioning (it was 88 degrees with 80% humidity). One of the shows I selected included a 50s game show that involved using encyclopedias (more exciting than it sounds) while another involved the combination of poker betting and easy trivia questions (much less exciting than it sounds).<br><br> For the evening, since we struck out on getting tickets to a Broadway play, we settled for a Colin Quinn standup set. If you would have asked me in 1990 that I would be spending $46 to see a second banana from <i>Remote Control</i>, I would have said you were nuts. The set was OK, a couple of memorable lines but a tad too long. And then back on the depressing train to New Jersey. </td></tr></table> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="RT2007_Day08Map.jpg" align=right><font class=V14>Day 8 (Friday, 29 June)</font><br><br> The "endurance" portion of this trip begins, as we are going to go to two sporting events per day both today and tomorrow. The first event for this day is the first major league game of this trip, a day affair in Philadelphia as they take on the Mets. <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/news/boxscore.jsp?gid=2007_06_29_nynmlb_phimlb_1" target="_blank">A 5-2 win for the road team</a>, we were treated to some classic Phillie booing when Pat Burrell came to the plate. We also got to see starting pitcher J.D. Durbin give up 6 earned runs in 4 2/3 innings but lower his ERA from 94.50 to 21.94.<br><br> What should have been a just under two hour jaunt to our evening game took three, but fortunately for us the game the day before was rained out, so they were now playing a doubleheader, and we got to see game two, an Atlantic (Independent) League game. <a href="http://stats.infinityprosports.com/indy/aframed?type=box&t=league&game=7967" target="_blank">The Somerset Patriots won 11-5</a>, defeating Bridgeport. The Atlantic League tends to have rosters sprinkled with ex-Major Leaguers, and this game did not disappoint, with the home team having former Tiger farmhands Alan Zinter and Andy Van Hekken plus Brandon Knight while visting Bridgeport upped the ante with Quinton McCracken, Junior Spivey, Brian Boehringer plus former Tigers Pat Aherne and Matt Perisho.<br><br> The team had four levels of seating -- club, reserved, general admission and lawn. This team's version of general admission was "you can sit wherever you want as long as no one else asks for the seat". We were only able to get those seats, and unfortunately we were able to find seats near a speaker. In the first inning, the sound operator was trying everything on the board. In subsequent innings, the operator had settled on three -- a hyperactive cheer lead by mascots <a href="http://www.somersetpatriots.com/multimedia/gallery/index.html?c=86&id=587&t=0" target="_blank">General Admission and Sparkee</a>, a video of Godzilla clapping to <i>We Will Rock You</i>, and of course, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cha_cha_slide" target="_blank">Cha Cha Slide</a>. </td></tr></table> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="RT2007_Day10Map.jpg" align=left><font class=V14>Day 9 (Saturday, 30 June)</font><br><br> Game number one of this Saturday was a game at Yankee Stadium. One of the hollowed fields in major league history, and I deem it well enough to be the 36th major league ball park I've visited. The short 30 mile jaunt took over 2 hours, included yet another joust with the George Washington Bridge, and involved us sitting in the bleachers. The bums went through their pre-game ritual, calling out the name of each of the Yankee fielders in the first inning and hoping for a response. This was the last time they were cheered all day.<br><br> The home team <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/news/boxscore.jsp?gid=2007_06_30_oakmlb_nyamlb_1" target="_blank">was one-hit in a 7-0 loss to the Oakland Athletics</a>. The bleacher bums were inconsolable. Suzyn Waldman nearly commited suicide. Dear God, folks, this is one season. If you average a World Series win every four years, there may be an occasional bump on the road. My team has had four winning seasons in the last twenty. Dwight's team (the Pirates) hasn't had a winning season since the Barry Bonds' hat size was in the single digits, and the Yankees have a better record than the Pirates right now. Learn to share. At least they didn't play <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cha_cha_slide" target="_blank">Cha Cha Slide</a>.<br><br> Our second game that day, after a diversion at a great diner, was a major league lacrosse game. The hometown New Jersey Pride was playing the Boston Cannons on the campus of Rutgers University. The <a href="http://www.oursportscentral.com/services/releases/?id=3498232" target="_blank">home team disappointed on the scoreboard</a>, and they did play <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cha_cha_slide" target="_blank">Cha Cha Slide</a>, but it was very fun to watch. It was also neat seeing the T-shirt toss. You think with only 2,000 in the crowd you have a chance, but all of a sudden you realize <a href="DSC02557.JPG" target="_blank">many people bring sticks to the game</a>. Imagine hockey if everybody brought sticks. </td></tr></table> <hr> <table width=100%><tr><td class=V10> <img src="RT2007_Day11Map.jpg" align=right><font class=V14>Day 10 (Sunday, 1 July)</font><br><br> The day began bidding James and his wonderful parents adieum. After that, we <a href="DSC02563.JPG" target="_blank">visited G, Frank and the gang in Fells Point</a> and hung out at The Waterfront (and unlike the show, the food was very good). We then moved onto Camden Yards for our final game of the trip, <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/news/boxscore.jsp?gid=2007_07_01_anamlb_balmlb_1" target="_blank">a 4-3 victory for the Angels</a>, which concluded when Vladimir Guerrero made a basket catch and non-chalantly threw to home plate to nail Melvin Mora. I had been to this park back in 1995 when there were no other retro-parks. Then, it was difficult to get into <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/BAL/BAL199506060.shtml" target="_blank">and the team was a little better</a>. Now that its been 12 years and more than a dozen retro-parks later, it still has one piece of charm the others missed. It's cozy.<br><br> We took I-68 as an alternative to the Pennsylvania Turnpike on the way home, which allowed us to visit Morgantown, West Virgina for dinner. This allowed us to see where the <a href="DSC00141.JPG" target="_blank">Scooby Gang hangs out</a> (apparently it's a pet store). And although Camden Yards did not play it, we unfortunately hit <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cha_cha_slide" target="_blank">Cha Cha Slide</a> on Radio Disney while scanning for a ball game or information on the 20 mile backup on the other side. We stopped at Dwight's for the night, then headed on home the next morning.<br><br> </td></tr></table> <hr> <p class=V9>Photos: Mostly Dwight, a little Craig. Last Updated: 4-July-2007</p> </body> </html>